I have found myself sitting in silence a number of times the past couple of weeks and thinking to myself… when did I grow up? I’m getting married? I’m looking at houses? I’m talking about children?
The beginning of this month marked 6 months from the moment I will walk down the aisle in the most perfect dress I have laid my eyes on, say the most difficult words I have ever had to come up with because no matter what “these vows just aren’t good enough”, and commit my life to the best friend and most loving man I have ever met.
Excuse my french, but…
Reality check though, what’s been going through my mind?
The Big To-Dos we have checked off the list so far:
Save the Dates
Decor Inspiration Board
Food and Bev.
The items that are LEFT on the list are as follows:
Order/ purchase table decor, misc signage, favors, gifts, flowers, etc.
Put together ceremony order and event timeline
Create and send out Invitations
Groom, groomsmen, ushers suits and ties
Flower girl dresses and accessories
Finalize menu and bar
photo booth props
At least as of today, that’s what I can think of. I am sure there will be more I think of and add to the list tomorrow. I was marinating on this to-do list this past week and all the little details that were still on my mind– details, after all are my favorite parts of any wedding or event– but then I got to thinking.
An event planner by day, and a general planner by heart, I ALWAYS have it together. Looking at an event 6 months out would normally mean nothing but doing my follow up calls and assuring that all the loose ends are tied up so come 2 months out, I will be ready to go.
But this time, it’s different. This time it’s not just a job, and this time emotions are involved.
I have been talking and working with a number of different brides over the past few months. It always starts out light and exciting, talk of colors and flowers, how much they can’t wait to marry their sweetheart. But somewhere along the way, the stresses start to show. The expectations, the opinions, the objections? It seems to be that we hear the word “Bridezilla” being thrown all over the place, and in some cases it’s most definitely necessary. But what about the rest of us?
Normally I am a pretty private person, but I vowed to keep this blog and this experience honest and open. It has helped me even more so since I have been hearing other brides that need to hear this advice and need to know that it’s common to shed a few tears along the way. There have been a number of times through out this planning experience that have ended in tears for me. Happy tears, sad tears, overwhelmed tears, and my favorite… “eff this” tears. Let me tell you, there is nary a tear when I am planning other events that are not my own, so it has nothing to do with planning a wedding and everything to do with planning your OWN.
From the bride’s perspective, the most important part of this day is that we get to marry the love of our life. Half the time we don’t even know what we want, we just want to pick a friggin’ flower arrangement and call it a day. Majority of the time all we are trying to do it make everybody happy, and majority of the time… that is literally impossible.
Let me add a little more to our thought processes: Among the color schemes and seating charts, we think about what is going to change once we are married. We know that we are about to officially grow up and commit our lives to someone else and if we think about it too hard it can be a little terrifying. I have found myself sitting in silence a number of times the past couple of weeks and thinking to myself… when did I grow up? I’m getting married? I’m looking at houses? I’m talking about children? We realize that sometimes we sound really crazy and a little bit of “Bridezilla” may come out, but if you had those 5 million thoughts going through your brain in addition to the other million items on your checklist at the same time you would go a little crazy too.
Open. honest. blunt. straight from nearly every bride’s thoughts… I guarantee it. Weddings to me are in comparison to my excitement for Christmas each year. The BUILD UP, OH THE BUILD UP! “I love Christmas, I love Christmas.” “Christmas movies, Christmas music.” “Christmas lights, Christmas presents.” “Decorations, peppermint mochas, presents, wrapping, shopping, YEAH!”
Keep in mind that burn out is normal and sometimes you do need to take a step back from the guest lists and the flower arrangements to enjoy this time and appreciate those that are helping you through it. The best advice I can give to all parties involved in this Shindig (because we realize there are A LOT of you that help us pull this thing off!) is to communicate, and remember that it is just one day, and one day that the bride has been dreaming about for a very long time. We want help, encouragement, and especially excitement to get us through to the big day. Talk to us, motivate us, and know that we are grateful for every bit of love and support you can offer.
A big THANK YOU to all the families out there, for all that you do for us and for all the work you put into our big days, and for doing literally anything for us just to make us happy. We are who we are because of you, and wouldn’t be where we are without your guidance.
A big THANK YOU to all the friends and bridal parties out there, for celebrating with us, counseling us, and supporting us in whatever little duties we need done… most of the time at the last minute!
A big I LOVE YOU to the grooms out there, for you get to see us at our worst and most frustrated. We know that you want nothing but our happiness, and you could care less about a big decorative affair. So thank you for giving us the greatest gift we could ever ask for… like it’s not enough that we get your lifetime commitment and love. 🙂
So here I am, 6 months out. But now, the fun is FINALLY about to begin! A Bachelorette party, final vendor meetings, dress and suit fittings, craft nights, and some serious fun are in the near future.
The emotions– they’re all there! But in all honesty, I am loving every minute of it. This experience of planning my own wedding is one I know I will look back on and treasure forever. As a bride, I feel so lucky to feel those highs and lows, to ride this roller coaster of a ride with my partner in crime. That’s some real love. That’s two people that have family and friends that care an awful lot about them, and want nothing but the best for their future.
With tears in my eyes and a smile on face, I remind myself and the other brides out there to live in the now. Soak in the frustrations, the nerves, the butterflies. Be in love with this time and the people in it. Your day WILL be perfect, I guarantee it.